Compassion for my "one way anger suicidal" mind

 Compassion for my "one way anger suicidal" mind

My heart is with my mind. There is no blame or shame that Im holding to my suicidal mind while it tried all time to find a solution, and with that effort there were less nad less light for myself, so the journey started be darker and darker.

I was in similar situation from that momnet several times, so I try to give my mind an advice about solution.

There is a litle bit of solution today.

There is a litle bit solution the next day, and day ater that. Morning Sun came with new light to help shine through the day that needs care while energy is deplated, while money are rare comodity to have, while the things of daily use are starting falling apart.

My heart is kind to m ymind whit a question

"How you can think thats all your fault?"

"Let it be, do try to fix it every day it will be balanced letle bit, and every day new chaos came in and everything will be allright"

I feel I walk it voluntarily even everything is convinced that totaly wrong!

Its not about that the settings of mind, the way of looking of life is messed up, and I know that is what I try to fit in, and thats what I hate ..... not life, not me, not anybody .... just the pressure that I as a boy was fighting, and bacmae that fight in my head.

Thats never ending fight where I play both, or several forms of myself, and "others". Im those others in my mind that I try to convinced them about my own ideas about myself, to prove Im diferent, but Im not .... Im that fight with myself that needs only one thing ....

... drop it

litle bit of solution one day per one day

thats healing

thats life with space for joy and laughter

for friendship

to myself

with others.